First let me start out by saying: “Happy Independence Day!” Every year this time of year, I love to watch the fireworks from afar. They remind me of how life is full of surprise, beauty and celebration.
However as a mother of a 4 ½ year old, I see her working to ‘do life’ more independently than ever. And school obviously encourages independence which is great! However, what I know as a 44 year old woman is that in order to truly do big things in the world, I must get better at asking for help. And we cannot do big things in this world alone. I realize that we over teach’ this concept called ‘independence’ we teach children that they can and should do it all alone.
Big goals in life can only be done when we do it in teams and ask for help along the way. We cannot raise children well alone. We cannot build businesses that have big impact alone. We cannot take care of ourselves well alone. We cannot accomplish our goals alone. The concept of doing things alone or independently is pushed way too much in our society, in my opinion.
I can honestly say that since working with business owners for almost a decade, much of what we need to relearn is how and when to ask for help in order to do big things.
As a Mom, I consider my nanny a part of my team… I cannot do great work without someone to help care for my daughter with me. My work team, consists of writers, detail professionals, technical people, graphics people, coaches, and I cannot do great work without them!
So, I am curious, look at your 2010 goals and ask yourself in each area, what do you need help with? Be creative, who can help you? Our first reaction is: I do not have anyone that can help. But the truth is if you just start talking about your goals, sharing them with others, you will find places and areas that you can receive help. We limit ourselves by thinking that we have to pay money every time in order to get help. But that is not always the case. Be creative! There are so many ways to get help here are just a few:
1. Trade services: just today I spoke with a PR Professional who is specializing in coaches, authors and speakers… (that is me) and she is looking to grow her business so, we are creating a nice 1 year trade relationship.
2. I have a good friend who very seldom pays for child care. She has developed a network of Mom friends that swap taking care of each other’s children all the time. (I had never thought of this simple concept! I pay for childcare all the time!)
3. So many people, want to help but they are not sure how and need to be asked in order to truly help. It is rare to find people that know how to help best. So it is up to us to ask, the worst that happens is that they say, no and that is fine! We really want people to help us that want to be helping.
4. Paying for services but finding creative ways to pay for service especially if you cannot afford someone’s full price. There are so many ways to provide value to someone. Be creative! Think about what you have to offer and what services are needed there are many ways to ‘pay’ someone for their help.
So let’s check it out…. Score yourself a point for every one of the items below that you can say YES too… are you growing to be more interdependent or are you working too hard and being too independent?
1. When I get frustrated I immediately ask for help or I stew about it and either let the project go or procrastinate doing it. (1 point if this is true)
2. I notice that I set big goals and ask how will I accomplish them rather than avoiding big goals. (1 point if this is true)
3. I enjoy working with someone when I am trying to accomplish something rather than working alone. (1 point if this is true)
4. I don’t mind asking for help from others. (1 point if this is true)
5. I do not see asking for help as a sign of weakness, rather I see it as empowering. (1 point if this is true)
If you scored a 5, CONGRATULATIONS! You are interdependent and will continue to accomplish big things in life. If you scored less than a 5, sign up to be a Big Fish today! Let’s get you doing the big things that you know you can accomplish!
True success takes being interdependent! Happy Interdependence Day!